On one level it is an ongoing journey. I need to watch my own wellbeing, I need to be careful that I don’t allow myself to become emotionally tired or physically exhausted from my activities. I need to make sure I exercise and that I eat reasonably well, that I pace myself with my work. If I don’t do that then I can slip back sometimes into feeling depressed, and then old negative thought patterns can re-emerge. Generally, all is well as long as I maintain my wellbeing and health and I don’t allow myself to get excessively stressed.

I try to avoid situations where I’m being pushed or stretched beyond where I feel safe or comfortable. Because I still can get fearful about feeling humiliated or feeling embarrassed in public, afraid of not being able to do a job and feeling ashamed. I can kick into those things when I’m tired. So I try to pace myself and manage my challenges a little bit more. But generally I’m in a much better place, I’m much more content within myself. I have a lovely group of friends. I know they love me and value me for who I am and my sexuality is not an issue. If anything it’s probably something they enjoy about me and celebrate with me.

In a short space of time, I now have a number of gay men that I know and I run into, that I have a connection with and a rapport with, through Body Electric or through GAMMA. And it’s just beautiful, it’s just a lovely way to be in the world. I couldn’t imagine being any different, I love my sexuality. I honestly don’t know why you’d want to be straight, I really don’t. That capacity to be with men, to have that sense of connection, to be with men of kind. It’s a brotherhood of men. And that sense of community and connection, it’s quite profound. I feel sad for straight men often who yearn for that sort of thing but don’t know it. They don’t have it, and are terrified of finding it and experiencing it.