Four questions to ask any guy you meet online, before you meet up
You’ve found the online trifecta: he’s sexy, he’s local and he’s keen right now. But don’t book the Uber just yet.
Before you get too excited, take a minute. Just like a job interview, you only get one chance to make a first impression, and we want you to make it a good one. So we’ve got your back with these four important questions to ask before you meet him.
1. Is there going to be penetration involved?
This one may seem obvious to you, but not everyone is speaking the same language online. Words like ‘hooking up’ and ‘hanging out’ mean very different things to different people. A small miscommunication can lead to a big mismatch in expectations.
Whatever the case, assume nothing and be clear about what you want (this can also be quite hot) before you hook up. That way you can make sure you’ve got lube and condoms ready if you’re going to need them.
2. What’s your HIV status and what’s your strategy?
No matter what you’re planning, it’s a good idea to talk about your HIV status before you meet him – and definitely before he’s knocking on the back door. Work out what your strategy is for minimising your risk, whether it’s PrEP, utilising an undetectable viral load as an HIV prevention strategy, condoms or a combination of any of them. Some of these are things you might be too busy to discuss later, so it’s worth putting it all on the table from the get-go.
3. When did you both last get tested for STIs?
Some apps let you put this info on your profile, but it’s worth double checking with him before you get busy.
This is a conversation you definitely want to have as early as possible — it can be a bit of a mood killer when you’ve already got him bent over the coffee table. And be open about your own testing as well. The more regularly you get tested, the more likely you are to detect any STIs and get them treated, which will help to stop them from spreading to other guys.
4. Do you need to bring anything?
This is your opportunity to check that you’ve got everything you need to enjoy yourselves. If you’re travelling, offer to bring a bottle of something — wine and lube are both acceptable choices. If you’re hosting, double check that you’re fully stocked. There is never a good time to run out of lube or tear your last condom.
Now book that Uber and go have fun!
This article has been republished with permission from Emen8.org.au - Australia’s biggest and boldest online sexual health and wellbeing initiative for gay men, bisexual men and men who have sex with men.