Sam (not real name) began to acknowledge his same-sex attraction following the birth of his third child. Sam coped with feelings of pressure and guilt by self-medicating until after twenty years of marriage he came out to his wife and children who were incredibly supportive of him.
I'm now a fifty year-old man who finally moved out of his family home 8 months ago. I had been married to my wife for over 20 years and we have 3 beautiful children. I first started acknowledging my same-sex attraction after the birth of our 3rd child over 10 years ago.
I felt so much shame and disgust with myself. This was not who I was brought up to be or how I was raised. Get married, buy a house, start a family. I lived in torment for years and used alcohol to build up the courage to engage with same-sex partners. All the time feeling disgusted with myself. Alcohol led to more serious substance abuse and I ended up coming out to my wife while in a drug-induced psychosis - I would not wish this on anyone. Since that time I have successfully dealt with the substance abuse and learned to accept and love myself for who I am. With help, encouragement and support from a wide variety of sources I no longer hate myself.
I am still learning to become a proud and strong gay man, and I am blessed by an ex-wife who is extremely supportive and wants me to be able to celebrate who I am and my children who have told me they were proud of me for being true to myself when I came out to them.
My journey has been difficult, but I have been lucky that I recognised I needed help and was able to reach out for that help. I am grateful for the support services that are available to men in a similar situation to me.